Being Contagious

    Have you ever had a disease or an illness that was contagious?  Usually the doctor prescribes an antibiotic or prescription that helps you combat your sickness.  Then after a few days you aren't contagious anymore.  What if I told you that we as Christians need to be contagious?  Sounds kind of silly, right?

    We as Christians should be so contagious in our joy, happiness, love, and grace that others want to be like us.  People will question, why are they so happy?  Or they will want what you have.  Our Christian attributes "catch" on with others and they start becoming like Christ.  Our mindset is that of Kingdom people and not Worldly people.  So how do we do this?

    I think a good starting point is with the "Be Attitudes", also known as the Sermon on the Mount.  Matthew 5:1-12 Jesus shares with us how we can be blessed.  And I think once we see our Kingdom blessings and not worldly blessings we become more contagious.  

    In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talks about how those who are poor in spirit are blessed.  But what does poor in spirit mean?  It means that you are so broken in your self (your abiltiies) but you are confident in Jesus.  You realize that you are His vessel to be used and place your confidence in Him instead of yourself. 

     Jesus says "Blessed are those who are humble" or meek, for they will inherit the whole earth (vs 5).  But what does it mean to be meek?  It means you realize that the power resides in God's control and not your own.  It means that you don't rely on your abilities to control situations or circumstances but understand God has ultimate control.  This is particularly hard for me at times as I want to be able to control some things in my life (and honestly I have tried).  

   Later in the scripture Jesus said we need to be merciful.  Where does your foundation in competitiveness lie?  Do you keep records of wrongs?  Are you quick to forgive others?  Do you put other's needs before your own?  

     "God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God" (vs 8).  I know that we want to all say, "Yup thats me" and quickly bypass this one and go to the next.  I struggle with this.  My heart and my intentions do not always line up with each other.  Seeing the best and being merciful to those who hurt you is hard, that's for sure.  Yet the thought of being able to see my God if I strive for this is the best motivation I can have.

     I could go over all of the "Blessed are those who..." but I think you get the point.  The Be Attitudes are a road map for us to use.  Not to pick and choose which ones we want to follow.  But to honestly pray to God daily to have the heart and mind of Him.  My bible notes say, "Are your attitudes a carbon copy of the world's selfishness, pride, and lust for power, or do they reflect the humility and self-sacrifice of Jesus, your king?" (Tyndale Life Application Study Bible, NLT)  Are you being contagious with your attitude and your lifestyle for Christ or does it mirror the world?

Dealing with Hurt

     Have you ever dealt with hurt?  I mean the deep down hurt that makes you question things?  A while back I had a situation that came up that left me hurt.  I questions what I did wrong, was I too close to this person and trust them too much?  Should I have prayed harder, listen more closely, or reacted differently?  What could I have done differently so that the outcome would have been different?
      What made this hurt more pronounced was the fact that it dealt with a friend.  At some point in your life you will realized that certain petty things don't matter.  You become more mature and you tend to grow up.  And hopefully that maturity and growth stems from having a deepening relationship with God.
     The other morning while taking my son to my mom's house I heard a Pastor say, "Show me your fiends and I'll show you your future" (Greg Laurie).  I pondered this statement and how I can use this one quote to look at my hurt in a different light.  How do my friendships effect my future.  Am I spending time with my friends in a Christian, loving, and caring environment?  Are my friends lifting me up and challenging me to be a better Christian?
      Back to the hurt....If you have ever been hurt you know what it is like.  There are times you feel like you are moving on.  That you are finally getting over the hurt.  Other times something can re-ignite the hurt and you are back at point one.  If you are going back to point one, like I am at times, then realize you probably haven't forgive that person.
       God calls us to forgive someone 7X70 times.  In other words, we are to continuously forgive individuals just like God continuously forgives us.  I know that this can be hard.  Satan wants us to believe that old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me" saying.  Yes you might have to adjust your relationship with the person hurting you, but that does not mean to love them any less or pray for them any less.
      The situation that left me hurt, I doubted my positive influence.  My insecurities took over and I felt like I had been the one that was in the wrong.  However, when I look back I realize I could have done a few things a little differently.  I tried to be the lighthouse God has called me to be.  I tried to shed some positive light on the situation.   I had other friends supporting me and helping me look at the situations from a different view.
     Don't give up.  Find a way to forgive the person that hurt you.  Remember, "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up" Galatians 6:9 ESV.   Seek God in all you do and how you handle situations.  Pray for His will to prevail and not yours.  

Parenting is a Reflection of Your Heart

     I remember growing up my momma always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all," "Actions speak louder than words," or she would recite the Golden Rule.  At one point or another (ok, let me be honest, probably about every time) I probably rolled my eyes when she quoted these wise words to me.  I didn't understand it then, but my mom was starting to prepare my heart for Christ and for the world. 

    When your heart is right with God, parenting doesn't seem so challenging as a whole.  Notice I didn't say that every day would be easy.  However, it does help us grow, smooth out our rough edges, and breathe a little easier.  

     So how do you know you have a heart that is right for God?  Here is what I have learned from my own personal growth with Christ and experience....

1. TRUST - When life hands you lemons, you trust that God is going to use them in your life.  You don't go and make lemonade on your own cause when you do, you take away your trust in God.  Instead, you sit back, breathe, and listen to God. 
2. RESPECT - "How you treat one another in the home influences how our children will someday treat their roommates, their coworkers, their future spouses, and their own children" (Be the Mom, Tracey Eyster).  Let's take this a step farther, how you treat anyone in general shows a reflection of your heart.    Proverbs 14:1 tells us, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands [and mouth] the foolish one tears hers down."
3. MINDFUL - As we mature, we become more mindful in our thinking.  I went to a seminar about DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) to help clients learn about mindfulness.  The history of DBT and the underlying concepts of the theory help me as a mom today.  We need to have a equal grasp of reality and emotions.  If we let our emotions dictate how we parent, we are not going to parent effectively. 
4. GRATITIDUE - Tracey Eyster has written a book called, "Be the Mom"...and let me tell you she has a way with words.  Here is what she says about gratitude, "Having a heart of gratitude is essential in the life of mom, and practicing gratitude transforms our hearts from being self-focused to being God-focused.  That focus is a wonderful attribute to pass along to our children; grateful children are contented no matter their circumstances."  I don't think I could have said any of that any better. 

    There are plenty more attributes we could add to this list but reality is that one of them would fit underneath one of the ones already listed.  How we interact with each other in the home is a reflection of our hearts.  How we interact with others in various settings (social, church, restaurant, etc) is a reflection of your heart.  Are you happy with what your heart is reflecting?  Does it mirror Christ?  Are there areas you need to work on?   I know that there are several I need to do better with!

Don't Rob Yourself!

     This morning while taking my kiddos to my moms house for the day an interesting conversation developed between my daughter and I.   As we were driving along I noticed a distinct smell that generally happens around a specific animals mating season.  You know that very pungent smell of skunk.  Well my daughter (mind you is 3 1/2) is learning what skunks do, they spray.  Here's how our conversation went....

Me - Shew, I smell stinky skunk.
C - Yuck, that's pee-yew.  Mom, that stunk sprayed and it stinks.
Me - They are called "skunks".
C - Well they sprayed the grass.  I know a lot about grass.
Me - You do?
C - Yeah I do.  God needs to worry about himself.
Me - Well C God loves everyone and worries about everyone.

     Later on as at the day went I by I started the think about what she said.  (A little side note: C has been tattling a lot lately and I told her that she needs to worry about herself.  We've been trying to tell her that she needs to mind her own behaviors before pointing out others.)  Are we as parents really letting God worry about our problems or are we taking away His grace and mercy by worrying about them ourselves?

     You see, when we don't give God our worries, our concerns, our _______ (you fill in the blank), we are robbing ourselves of His blessings.  When we aren't on our knees seeking Him, we miss receiving his grace and mercy.  When we don't cast our burdens on God, we carry the weight of all of our worries, our sins on our shoulders. 

     Parenthood is burdensome enough without having to add extra weight.  Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."   Did you catch that last part?  "He will never permit the righteous to be moved."  God doesn't want you to fall, stumble, or be hindered...He wants you to cast your burdens on him.  

     Even thought my daughter is quickly catching on about not being concerned about what her friends are doing or not doing, she missed the mark a little in regards to who God should worry about.  Why not make the effort today to let God carry your burden, for his "yoke is easy"

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Walking Spiritually in Parenthood

     This morning our Pastor talked about not forgetting what scripture says.  He shared that at times we have momentarily, and sometimes longtime, forgetfulness in our spiritual life.  We can begin to neglect our relationship with God.  At one point in his sermon he shared that God is going to be speaking a hundred different sermons today, depending on what we, as individuals, need to hear.  This is what God spoke to me....

     Pastor Wayne said today that, "Failing to remember God is the beginning of the deterioration of your spiritual life."  To add effect and help us hear this statement he said it twice.  So let me reiterate, "Failing to remember God is the beginning of the deterioration of your spiritual life."  

   Parenting is a trickle down effect.  What you do ultimately effects your children, your grandchildren, etc.  So when you fail to take your children to church it begins to weaken your own spiritual walk as well as your child's spiritual walk.  "Forgetting God leads to worshipping other things" - Bro. Wayne.  What are you and your children possibly worshipping (sports, televisions, social events, social status, etc)?  What takes up most of your time?

     

     Remembering that God is the giver of life should in effect lend us to remember that He has ownership of our life.  When we accept that the ownership of what we have and who we are belongs to God, we can start worshipping God without barriers.  When we can worship God without barriers we can begin to deepen our spiritual life with Him. 

     Putting God in the forefront of all life's circumstances, obstacles, events, and routines honors and worships Him.  Your children begin to reflect your heart and your behaviors as they grow, so what do you want them to reflect?  Deuteronomy 8:19b says, "If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods, worshipping and bowing down to them, you will certainly be destroyed."  In your own spiritual life as a parent, don't forget to worship God.  Remember, parenting with the purpose to honor God pleases Him.  

Parenting and Friendships

     Lately I've been having this lingering conversation in my head.  One that I've been wrestling with Satan about.  One that emotionally hurts to the point that it can leave scars.  At moments I have come to grips with this conversation, other times it eats away at me.  

     What does it mean to be a Christian friend and to teach that to your children?  Right now my children are young, my oldest is learning what it means to be a friend right now.  But as a parent, how do you surround yourself with true, honest, God-fearing, and humbling friends?  And in the process, how do you accept when others don't want to be close to you?  

       Scripture says that we need to, "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble" (Proverbs 13:20).   Later it say, "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands" (Proverbs 14:1).  These two verses have really been sticking out at me.

     Here is what I believe God is telling me to do:

1. Be Friendly - If someone chooses to not be close to me, then I need to accept that.  BUT I still need to be friendly to that person.   I still have an opportunity to show grace, love, and mercy to everyone, even if I am not close to them. 
2. Walk wisely - That might not sound right or you are thinking, "huh?".  Here is what I mean, we need to be conscious of who we are walking with.  If I am seeking closeness with someone who does not want to be as close to me, then I need to rethink walking closely with this person.  (Now I will revert to concept #1 above.)  God wants me to walk with wise individuals and use my discernment to make that choice...however sometimes God knows we will wrestle with this and helps us.  
3. Reflect carefully -Who you choose as your friends and the choices they make reflect on your judgment of Christian character.  Be mindful of who you are associating with because their actions can influence what others think of your Christian walk.  If I am associating with someone who participates in activities my personal faith does not agree with, that says a lot to other people.
4. Construction soundly - Your friendships, whether you agree or not, affect your home life.  This in turns effects your parenting.  If you are easily influenced by the world then consider the how close you want your "worldly" and "godly" friends.  I want friends who will lift me up spiritually when I need it, challenge me in my thinking, hold me accountable, and provide sound Christian advice.  

     Scripture is beautiful in the fact that it can be interpreted differently.  The concepts I listed above are HARD.  I'm not going to sugar coat it.  But in a world that is drawing us to be more like it then just in it...we have to heed to what God says.  We must be diligent in who we surround ourselves with.  The world is fighting hard for our homes and friendships, we need to stand underneath the cross in ALL aspects of our lives.

     Hope this brings some comfort to someone.  God is with us.  God guides us.  We need to be wise in how we walk in the world.  Let us pray for our friends, love on them, support them, and guide them.

Parenting Confirmation

     Do you ever wonder as a Christian parent if you are doing a good job parenting?  There are many ways society, or the world, try to "help" you gage your success.  Have you done a good job when your child becomes an adult and is successful?  Did you do everything right because they can say the books of the Bible in order?  

     The other night my husband and I have been taking different approaches to disciplining our very strong-willed child.  In the mist of disciplining we also started implementing a new bedtime routine in hopes of getting her to bed earlier.  While sitting on the couch trying to get our daughter to calm down she stated, "I don't love you anymore."  Now this comment came because I had just disciplined her for her bad behavior.

      When I sent my mom a text telling her what my daughter said she said, "well then you are being a good parent."  I knew that my daughter was just upset because I'm trying to teach her right from wrong.  However, there was still a little sting from her hurtful words. 

      But my mother was right, shh don't tell her!  HAHA.  When my child doesn't like me correcting her misbehavior and tells me she doesn't like me or doesn't love me...I cannot take offense.  She is saying these things 1. out of anger, 2. because she knows she's in the wrong, and 3. because she wants the control/power.  

      Being a parent doesn't mean you are your child's favorite person.  Many of you reading this might be a parent of a pre-teen or teenager and can testify to this.  I know growing up my mom was not my favorite person.  Now as an adult, I can say I am grateful for that.  I am grateful that my mom set boundaries for me, taught me right from wrong, and disciplined me.

      Can you as a Christian see this parallel between your relationship with God and parenting?  God is our parent, hard to think of Him in that sense.  He guides us, molds us, teaches us, and instructs us on how to live.  He even disciplines us when we are wrong (this might come in different forms for everyone).  And when we don't like what God says to do, we sometimes get angry, argue, and even lash at at Him.  He has made many sacrifices to show us how much He loves us.  

      So parents, when your child says that they don't like you or love you anymore, don't hang you head down low.  Take your right arm and give yourself a pant on the back.  (Of course, it might be wise to not do that in front of your child...depending on their age.)  You are being a good parent (not their best friend)...one that God is calling you to be!  Stand tall!!!