The Story Continues

It's been over a month since I blogged about a tragic end to a beautiful story Jason and I were writing.  I should rephrase that.  It has been over a month since I blogged about God demonstrating His glory, love, mercy, grace, and strength to Jason and I.  To be honest, I wasn't all that sure on how to cope with hearing that we lost our baby last month.  Well today, I still am unsure how to cope with the pain.

God has been apart of my life since I was born.  I formally accepted His grace and gift of eternal life on April 9th, 1994. Over the past month or so, God has really been present in my life in a variety of ways.  While it is devastating (and that word is not used lightly) to have a miscarriage, strength has come out of my moments of weakness. 

Mother's Day was just a few Sunday's ago and it was a challenge for me to overcome (I'm not even sure if I have overcome it fully).  I remember going to church, sitting by Jason, and almost bracing myself.  The pastor asked all the mother's to stand to recognize them, I sat and cried.  I cried because the joy of motherhood was prematurely removed from me.  When I was able to gather myself, the offering prayer was offered to God.  At that point, I could not stop the tears from flowing.  My heart was breaking, knowing that this was the first year I could celebrate Mother's Day with a baby growing inside of me.  Instead, I mourned the miscarriage I had and clung to the thought that my baby was with God.   

A co-worker told me the following day that I AM a mother, my child is just not with me.  God blessed my husband and I with a baby for a brief time period.  Even though I continue to mourn the loss of someone I never met, God has provided me with the strength to push forward.  I am reminded of the song by Mathew West called Strong Enough.  The lyrics stated, "You must think I'm strong to give me what I'm going through."  Reality is, God is the source of strength and mercy.

Philippians 4:13, "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." (NLT)

Dear Lord, I know that You are the source of strength in life.  I pray that through the valleys I remember to seek our Your strength to help me surpass the trying times.  Please help me to take down my armor and equip myself with Your's.  In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.