Well it is here, my due date. It has come far too quick for this aching
heart. Through all the valleys I have
traveled in the last six months, I have learned more about myself than I
thought I would ever learn. It may even
be safe to say that Jason and I have learned a lot about each other through
this journey. We have cried together,
held each other, and been brave together at times. I know that without Jason in my life helping
me to rely on Christ, this journey would have been unbearable.
I have received so much support over the last several months
from family, friends, and even those who I am not quite familiar with. I want to give a big thank you to each of
you. Your prayers, love, sensitivity, hugs,
and support have meant so much to me. I
have learned through my blogs and comments from people that Jason and I have
not been traveling down this road alone.
I lift up many prayers to those who know the heartache of losing a
child, no matter the age.
It’s not hard to venture to say that we all have a breaking
point and mine came about a month ago. I
thought that I was truly relying on God’s strength to get me through my dark
days, but looking back, I don’t think I really was. I wanted to convince myself that God was working
out His beautiful plan for me. However,
when I look back at where my heart rested, I was not trusting God the best I
could. All I remember is sobbing (and I
do not mean a cute little cry). I wanted
to scream out, question God’s plan, and doubt His goodness. I knew if I did, Satan was going to win the battle.
Recently there have been many songs that have helped me get
through many tear-filled days. Meredith
Andrews has a song called “Not for a Moment”.
I am adding the lyrics
below. My prayer to you is this:
Remember in our dark days, our days of questioning, days that are filled with storms
and those filled with laughter…God is constant.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the
LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a
hope. In those days when you pray, I
will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.’” Remember, God is on our team and is willing to listen and fill your heart. Are you ready for Him?
"Not for a Moment" sung by Meredith Andrews
You were reaching through the storm
walking on the water
even when I could not see
in the middle of it all
when I thought You were a thousand miles away
not for a moment did You forsake me
not for a moment did You forsake me
after all You are constant
after all You are only good
after all You are sovereign
not for a moment will You forsake me
not for a moment will You forsake me
You were singing in the dark
whispering Your promise
even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me
and every step every breath you are there
every tear every cry every prayer
in my hurt at my worst
when my world falls down
not for a moment will You forsake me
even in the dark
even when it's hard
you will never leave me
after all
not for a moment will You forsake me
