Be Strong, Be Courageous...God is with you!

    To say the last several days has been eventful is an understatement.  My two year old daughter decided at some point to put a craft wiggly eye in her ear.  I don't know when it happened. (Mother of the year award here!)  But on Thursday night as I was trying to get my daughter to lay down in her new bed and start to drift off to sleep, she decided to tell me she has an "eye in her ear".  I wasn't sure I heard her right.  After finally seeing it and calling my mom, my husband and I took her to the ER.  Go figure...they didn't have the proper instruments to get it out of her ear.  The wiggly eye was flush against her ear canal that we were going to have to see an ENT. 

     To make this story more interesting, the next day I was supposed to go to the doctor to find out what gender baby we are having.  My anxiety is high as hormones rush through me.  The eye was still stuck in my daughter's ear until at least 2pm on Friday.  The ER doctor mentioned that in some cases they would have to put the child asleep.  With all the luck, I knew in my head that was going to be the case.

     I called my mom after leaving the ER and just had to laugh at the situation.  My two year old would tell you that she has an "eye in her ear".   While my daughter laid on the exam table for the doctor to remove the wiggly eye from her ear, I kept reassuring her that it would be ok. Once I knew the baby boy I'm carrying is doing ok (because there is enough pregnancy worries for me to go around) and the eye was quickly and painlessly removed from my daughters ear...I sighed.

    I got to thinking, how many times do I seek out God's reassurance?  How many missed opportunities do I have with God where I didn't seek out His will and His grace?  I know within the 24 hours that the eye was in the ear and doctor's appoint, I failed to share my worries with God. 

     I teach the 4 & 5 year old preschool Sunday School class at my church.  This month their verse is "Be strong, be courage, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God goes with you." Deut. 31:6.  As I learn this verse with the kids, I want to strive for them to understand...God is always with you.  Whether you have an eye in your ear and are getting it removed, or you are dealing with worries and stress over a pregnancy...God is with you!

Parenting & Marriage

    Just yesterday I started reading a new book called Be the Mom by Tracey Eyster.  (Side note: Let me tell you, God's intervention allowed me to meet Tracey and start planning a speaking engagement with her.  God is good!)  The book highlights 7 traps that mom's fall into when it comes to parenting.  Although I'm only three chapters into the book, I'm loving hearing God speak to me through this book.

    I can remember that after a few months of our daughter being born my husband brought to my attention something I wasn't aware I was doing.  He lovingly pointed out that I make him nervous when I stood by him and he changed our daughters diaper.  To me, I thought this was just crazy.  How could I make him nervous?  To him, he thought I was critique him on how to properly change our daughters diaper.  WHAT?  Sounds crazy right?  Wrong.

     I needed to hear this.  He sweetly pointed this out and as he did, I knew I needed to take note.  To me, there was not a perfect technique to changing her diaper.  More importantly, if it attempted to hold in what my daughter let out...then I was fine with it.  So how does this parallel with the book?

     Tracey points out in her book that some mom's fall into the trap of "my way or else".  The only way to parent and the right way to parent is "my way or else".  I got to thinking about how my husband felt when I stood over him changing our daughters diaper.  Did he feel like I was telling him his way was not right?

      My intention of standing by my daughter while my husband changed her diaper was not to tell him his way was wrong.  To me, I was trying to be there for support, encouragement, and to give kisses to my daughter.  However, I needed to learn this lesson my husband was pointing out.
      Are there areas in your life, mom's, that you think things have to be "your way or else"?  Does the dishwasher have to be loaded a certain way?  Do the towels have to be folded just right? (Side note: this was also brought to my attention.  I lovingly told my husband that the towels weren't folded the way I was taught to fold them.)  What about cleaning the house?  Do you have a specific order that chores have to get done? 
      Does it really matter how the dishwasher is loaded as long as the dishes are washed?  The towels are folded, does it have to be your way?  A clean house, great!  But does it have to be cleaned in a certain order?  Can you let go of some of that control?
      The more I thought about the trap of "my way or else" I began to think how does this affect my marriage?  Does it make my husband think that he's not capable of being a good husband because it's not the way I want it?  Does my husband feel like a stinky dad because I have to have so much control over things?  What if the roles were reversed?
      Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands [and mouth] the foolish one tears hers down."  Are you tearing down your marriage because of your control?  Are you building a wall up between you and God because you have to be in control?  Build up your houses mom with the foundation of God!

My prayer for you is that you think about areas of your life that you can let control of today.  Don't hold back.  Let God take control, that's what He wants!

Mom Moments

     Alright moms, let's get real for a moment.  Do you ever have those moments when you want to pull your hair out?  Or what about those times that you could just scream in frustration?  Better yet, you wonder if you will survive this stage your child(ren) are going through?  Be honest.  I have.  Some days I can answer more than one of those questions.

     Here's an example: My daughter was in her room playing.  She was in her touch everything mood and push momma's buttons.  I go and see that she is playing with, none the less, her diaper pale.  I see that the top is cracked and somewhat broke.  I quickly put her in time out and told her that we don't break things.  I send my husband a text giving him the heads up about the diaper pale.  He responded that he forgot to tell me that he broke it the other day.  Great! I just disciplined our daughter for something that was not her fault.  Mom Moment for sure. 

     Guilt sets in.  Or for me, at least, it does.  I start feeling guilty that I'm not able to manage my frustrations more or better.  I feel guilty that I don't spend time teaching my child her ABCs, singing Jesus Loves Me to her, or just snuggling with her.  I feel guilty that she sees my temper some days more often than others. 

      I call all of those moments listed above, Mom Moments.  So what is a mom moment?  You know those moments that you just need to laugh so you don't cry?  Yep, that's a mom moment.  Or what about those moments where you are in a battle of wills with a 22 month old over something really silly?  Another mom moment there.  Better yet, what about those moments when you've tried everything that you know how to settle your child down and really all you want to do is sit and cry with them? 

     Well first let me say, you are not alone.  This is not the first rodeo a mom has ever had to endure.  You have other mom's in the stands or sidelines cheering you on.  Some might say, "this will soon pass", or "you are almost through this stage", or how about "I'm praying for you".  Be encouraged that you are not alone.

     Second, God instructs us to, "Come to me, all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.  Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28-29).  Soak that in for a moment.  Digest the concept that God is willing to teach you something if you come to Him.  God doesn't only want us to go to him when we are tired and weary but go to him when you are full and strong.

     Those mom moments I was talking about often become learning moments.  When the guilt sets in, you reflect back, and you start thinking about what you could have done different.  First go to God, second listen, and third rest. 

     Mom's we need to seek God every day and allow ourselves to rest in Him.  He does call us to do that.  Today, at the end of Mother's Day, I pray that you find comfort and rest in God by going to him.

Momma's Worry

     Momma's worry...right? (Not discounting that dad's don't either.) But as a mom, you probably worry about big and little things.  Some mom's may worry more than others.  I, for one, am a BIG worrier.  I have been all my life.  For me to think that I would worry less or the same after having a child was ridiculous on my part.

      I'm the mom that worries if her child is eating enough, drinking enough milk, if her funny sneeze means anything, is she developing at the right speed, is she listening, does she share with her friends, is she behaving appropriately at daycare...this list goes on.  (My child is just 20 months old...some of this can truly be deemed ridiculous.)  I've studied child development.  I've taught parenting classes...but my worrying doesn't stop.  (Worrying is nature to being a mom, however, personally, I can worry at an unhealthy level.)

      While doing a Bible study called, Ever After by Vicki Courtney, I ran across some scripture that took on this topic for me.  This particular day we were supposed to read the verses three times and soak in the meaning.  I'll be honest, I've rarely read scripture three times back to back.  (I highly encourage to read it multiple times and soak up what God is saying...I've learned my lesson ;) ). 

      I want you, moms, to stop for a moment and read these two verses three times and soak up what God is saying.

"Yes, the Sovereign LORD is coming in power.

He will rule with a powerful arm.

See, he brings his reward with him as he comes.

He will feed his flock like a shepherd.

He will carry the lambs in his arms,

holding them close to his heart.

He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young."

Isaiah 40:10-11

     When I read these verses three times the Lord revealed some things to me.  1. The Lord needs to be my shepherd on a daily basis.  I need to constantly seek Him out and follow Him.  I can do this by staying in His word and talking to Him constantly.  I can talk to Him about my worries and hand them to Him.

2. The Lord will and does carry my daughter in His arms.  When I worry about the big and little things about my daughter, I need to remember that He is taking care of her too.  He has her life already planned and mapped out. 

3. God is guiding me as a mom.  If I seek out His guidance, His plan, His wisdom....I know I cannot fail at being a mom.  But when I put my own plans, my own agenda/schedule in place of His...I am missing the mark.

     I can rest (and need to rest) easy in His truth and word.  God is taking care of things.  More importantly moms...He is guiding you!  I don't always have to have things planned out.   My Shepherd will lead me as a mom to make the best decisions and right decisions for my daughter...I just have to follow.

Dear God,  thank you for my family.  Thank you Lord for guiding me and being my shepherd.  Help light the way, as only you can.  Shed light into my darkest days and hold my hand as I being scare.  Lord you know my fears and worries about being a mom.  Help easy my mind so that I can focus on You and Your guidance.  In your precious son's name, Amen.

Fairytale Marriage

         I'll preface this blog by saying that I love my husband, a lot.  But my marriage has not always been the fairytale that I dreamed, well really, it's not ever been a fairytale.  Why?  Because my marriage is not a fairytale and it's not make believe.  That's what the basis of fairytales are right? They are make believe. 

         For me, being a mom is not like what the fairytales make it out to be as well.  I don't wake up with perfect hair, make up looking amazing, and bouncing around with an abundance of energy.  If you visit my house (please give a fore warning) there will be toys strung about, food on the floor, and dust everywhere.  There are times that I send my husband a text saying, "If you find me in the corner shaking and crying, let me be."  Why?  Because it's hard!  I'm generally always exhausted and sleep is good when I can get it. 

       However, toys strung around reminds me that we are fortunate enough to buy our daughter things to play with and that she plays with them.  I don't care if my hair is a mess and my make up is not perfect.  I'm more concerned that I was able to brush my teeth.  Food on the floor, well that tells me that God has blessed us with jobs that allow us to purchase food to keep in our stomachs. 

        God has provided.  God has given me a husband that takes care of his family and loves his family.  However, my first love needs to be God.  If I love God and follow His guidance then I'm richly blessed by His hands.  My God is a selfish God and wants to be number one in my life.  However, with a 19 month old, technology, books, television, family stresses, etc....my priority to God is often pushed aside.

         Mom's do you ever feel this way?  Do you ever feel that your "fairytale" is not measuring up to what you had planned from childhood?  Guess what...it shouldn't.  Like I mentioned before, it's make believe. Do you ever feel that you let your relationship with God slip?  Well you are not alone.

          So what can you do?  You can pray constantly to Him and seek Him.  Sometimes I have to pray to God to give me the patience to manage temper tantrums but I am seeking Him.  I seek Him in family conflicts.  I respond to His direction.  I read about Him and His love for me.  I have to remember that no matter what my day holds, my God is bigger.  I have to make a conscious effort to think about Him. 

         Today...I challenge you to let go of the fairytale image of marriage and focus on the realty of marriage and motherhood.  It's tough and consuming.  But when God is in the center, then you will find blessings in the mess.