Parenting & Marriage

    Just yesterday I started reading a new book called Be the Mom by Tracey Eyster.  (Side note: Let me tell you, God's intervention allowed me to meet Tracey and start planning a speaking engagement with her.  God is good!)  The book highlights 7 traps that mom's fall into when it comes to parenting.  Although I'm only three chapters into the book, I'm loving hearing God speak to me through this book.

    I can remember that after a few months of our daughter being born my husband brought to my attention something I wasn't aware I was doing.  He lovingly pointed out that I make him nervous when I stood by him and he changed our daughters diaper.  To me, I thought this was just crazy.  How could I make him nervous?  To him, he thought I was critique him on how to properly change our daughters diaper.  WHAT?  Sounds crazy right?  Wrong.

     I needed to hear this.  He sweetly pointed this out and as he did, I knew I needed to take note.  To me, there was not a perfect technique to changing her diaper.  More importantly, if it attempted to hold in what my daughter let out...then I was fine with it.  So how does this parallel with the book?

     Tracey points out in her book that some mom's fall into the trap of "my way or else".  The only way to parent and the right way to parent is "my way or else".  I got to thinking about how my husband felt when I stood over him changing our daughters diaper.  Did he feel like I was telling him his way was not right?

      My intention of standing by my daughter while my husband changed her diaper was not to tell him his way was wrong.  To me, I was trying to be there for support, encouragement, and to give kisses to my daughter.  However, I needed to learn this lesson my husband was pointing out.
      Are there areas in your life, mom's, that you think things have to be "your way or else"?  Does the dishwasher have to be loaded a certain way?  Do the towels have to be folded just right? (Side note: this was also brought to my attention.  I lovingly told my husband that the towels weren't folded the way I was taught to fold them.)  What about cleaning the house?  Do you have a specific order that chores have to get done? 
      Does it really matter how the dishwasher is loaded as long as the dishes are washed?  The towels are folded, does it have to be your way?  A clean house, great!  But does it have to be cleaned in a certain order?  Can you let go of some of that control?
      The more I thought about the trap of "my way or else" I began to think how does this affect my marriage?  Does it make my husband think that he's not capable of being a good husband because it's not the way I want it?  Does my husband feel like a stinky dad because I have to have so much control over things?  What if the roles were reversed?
      Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands [and mouth] the foolish one tears hers down."  Are you tearing down your marriage because of your control?  Are you building a wall up between you and God because you have to be in control?  Build up your houses mom with the foundation of God!

My prayer for you is that you think about areas of your life that you can let control of today.  Don't hold back.  Let God take control, that's what He wants!