Parenting Reality

    Christmas is in the air.  Aren't you excited?  I'll be honest, I wasn't until few minutes ago.  See, I come from a divorced family and every since I was little, Christmas has always been hectic.  Always trying to squeeze in all of the Christmas meals to go to, spend equal amount of time with each family, and trying to find time to enjoy it all.  As a parent, I realized that making memories are what matters. 

     My daughter is almost three and a half years ago (agh!!! slow down time!).  She is learning about Jesus and why we celebrate Christmas.  While listening to a comedian earlier talk about the night Jesus was born he got me to thinking.  What do you think it was like to raise God?

     You see, we stress today over the silly things: are my kids gifts crafty, are they getting enough ball time, are they socializing enough, etc.  I mean come on...I love Pinterest but I also get frustrated when my crafts or planned birthday parties don't turn out like the pin.  Pushing all of the parenting stress that comes from social media, news, Pinterest, and all of the other ways we comparing our parenting skills...and think about the task of raising God. 

       Do you remember the emotions you experience when you get to hold your baby for the first time?  I'll share mine with my daughter...I was scared and happy at the same time.  How am I going to raise this child?  This child is solely dependent on ME!  With my son, it was a little less dramatic and just heart warming.  I was so exhausted because my epidural wore off, but when they placed both of my babies in my arms, I was so blessed.  Can you comprehend the emotions Mary must have felt to not only hold her first child but also be holding God?  A perfect little baby, wrapping him in those swaddling clothes, nursing him, and just cuddling him close.  

       My little son is learning to crawl and pull up.  Stop and think about those milestones Mary got to experience with God.  God Himself!  Many times I am overwhelmed by the daunting task of raising a law abiding, society contributing, Christ fear, Bible loving, Church going...you get the picture, child.  But my task is nothing compared to Mary's.  

      During the Christmas time, as a mom, stop and reflect on a different perspective of Jesus' birth.  Take a moment and cherish your children.  God has chosen YOU to be their mom.  He has equipped you with the tools you will need, just like he did Mary.  "It is the Lord who goes before you.  He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you.  Do not fear or be dismay." Deuteronomy 31:8

MERRY CHRISTMAS...and Parent in God's Grace! 

Our Refuge

     As a mom there are times that I need a break.  I need a break from the chaos, drama, yelling (oh I'm sure there are many more years of that to come), and the exhaustion.  My husband and I are very fortunate that my mother will take one or both of my kiddos for the night (or two).  I think she understands that we need a break....a time to regain our composer.

      But as Christians, are we doing that as well?  Are we finding a time to take away all of the noise (the chaos) of life and just listen to God?  Nahum 1:7 (NIV) tells us, "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.  He care for those who trust in Him."  

     Let that sink in for a minute.  The Lord is Good.  There is no argument from me that God is not good.  Daily I see His blessings, his grooming, his sharpening, and his grace for ME.  For little (no comment needed on weight) ole me.  

     But the scripture goes on and says that God is our "refuge in times of trouble."  Sometimes I like to go and look up words in the dictionary even though I know what they mean.  Refuge is defined as "anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape".  God is our recourse.  God provides us with aid for trouble times, relief from stress, or an escape from the chaos of life.  Nothing else in the world can do that except God.  We might be able to find earthly escapes (sports, exercise, food, addictions, etc) but at the end of the day...those are not our recourse. 

     This verse ends with saying, "He care for those who trust in Him."  I know in my daily Christian walk that there have been times when I want to say I have trusted in God, but I haven't.  I haven't truly given over my worries or stress to Him.  I might momentarily lay them at His feet, but I will go back and pick them up.  When I do this, I translate to God that I don't have enough faith that His will is best.  

     What today is holding you up from being in God's refuge?  While my mom gives me a break from my kids, my refuge remains in God.  Today, I encourage you to seek out refuge in God for whatever you have going on (addiction, depression, stress, heartache, anxiety, family issues, etc).  "..For he cares for those who trust in Him!"

"Dear Lord, today I want to seek out your refuge.  I carry a burden in my heart for those who are hurting, who don't know you, or those who are choosing to not seek you.  I pray Lord for my own personal heartache.  I know that when I am hurting, I can run into your open arms.  You will always accept me and call me yours.  Your arms will protect me, love me, and guide me.  In all of this, I pray in your Son's name. Amen." 

Being Overwhelmed

     I have a beautiful friend that doesn't have the typical family home life.  By that I mean that her husband works away from home a lot, leaving her to tend to her two adorable little girls.  I love that she will text me just to get some of the stress off of her shoulders and I try my best to provide the best spiritual words that I can.  Well let me just say that this girl is a supermom in all senses.  She doesn't let many know her stress that she carries and loves her family like crazy.

     Just today she called me at work and just cried.  Once again, I did my best to try and listen to her and encourage her.  Satan has being doing his best to bring down the excitement of what is going on in my friends life.  

     Side note: I listen to Christian music while I work on youtube.  I happened to be listening to some of Big Daddy Weaves songs while ago.  While listening to their Overwhelmed song, it dawned on me...how many times am I getting overwhelmed by life?  Here is just the chorus of the song: 

I delight myself in You

Captivated by Your beauty

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross

Forgiven and free forever You'll be my God

And all that You've done is so overwhelming

  

     There are many times that I end the day exhausted, overwhelmed, and tons of stress.  Parenting and being a mom is not always easy.  However, I need to be overwhelmed with God and not my situation.  I need to release my exhaustion, stress, and overwhelm-ness (not sure if that's a word) to God.  I need to remember that God has a purpose for my life, for my actions and thoughts for TODAY.  Scripture tells us, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 7:13

     Instead of letting my emotions control my day, I need to let God do that.  Tomorrow is not promised, no need to worry about it.  God will meet and take care of all of our needs.  I need to place all of my worries, heartache, uncertainties, and pain in His arms.  We need to run to God's arms, that are full of grace and mercy, instead of becoming weighed down with life.  

      Dear God, I pray that I can become overwhelmed by You instead of my situation or circumstances.  I seek your will for my life, not my own.  Lord, may you give grace to my friend who is simply overwhelmed.  Amen.  

Christian Parenting Perspective

    As a mom of two little kiddos, there are times I doubt what I am doing is accomplishing anything.  Why clean up toys when they will end up right back to where they are now?  Why fix a big meal when it's not appreciated?  There a lot of doubts and questions to am I doing anything good.  Sometimes I wonder if I am doing enough as a mom.  Have you ever felt that way?

     A few weeks ago I was driving down to Devine's Corn Maze to get some corn to put up.  I had Cora in the car with me.  This is not the first time that we have driven down the main highway or gone this route.  As we are passing the Drive-In movies Cora enthusiastically says from her carseat, "Look mom, it's the wall of Jericho!"  I chuckled and tried my best to explain to her what a drive-in is.  

     Looking back at this moment, I realized that my child is learning and understanding the Bible stories we've been reading to her.  Every night, my husband and I try our best to allow time to read a few books to our kiddos.  Now, this doesn't always work for various reason but when we can, it's a blessing.  (That is once you get through the 200+ follow-up questions that come from a three year old.)  

      I had purchased some new books for the kids to read at bedtime that are faith based.  (Sadly, this isn't a very easy task.)  One of the books is about Joshua and the wall of Jericho.   Cora loves to sing "Joshua fought the battle of Jericho" and we sing this pretty often.  So to be driving down the road, for her see a wall standing the middle of the field and think it's the wall of Jericho, I was impressed.  I  was also excited because the songs and stories that Cora has been learning are starting to be applied to her life. 

      I say all of this to encourage parents and grandparents.  Your child is learning and comprehending (in their own way) what you are teaching them.  Do not get discouraged and let Satan tell you that you aren't doing a good job.  Scriptures tell us, "for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.  Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of crooked and twisted generation, among who you shine as lights in the world." (Philippians 2:13-15)

     God is working His will in your life and that trickles down to your children's life.  So don't get discouraged or overwhelmed that what you are doing to enhance your children's spiritual life is not enough.  Listen for God to speak to you and do His will...it's all about Christian Parenting Perspective.   Shine your light! 

Emotional Constipation

     This past weekend my daughter and I were watching the Disney movie Tarzan.  Most of you know the story of Tarzan and many might have seen the movie.  The elephant (Tantor) makes a statement to a gorilla (Terk) after being fed up with his lack of emotions.  Terk is hurt because Tarzan went to go live with Jane and will not be around to hang out with Terk anymore.  Tantor hears Tarzan holler and is concerned.  Terk brushes it off and says he can get his new friends to help him.  It's clear that Terk is rather upset.  Tantor says, "That's it! I've had it with you and your emotional constipation.  Tarzan needs us, and we're gonna help him. You got that?"

      I have a background in Social Work and worked many years in community mental health.  This particular line just had me cracking up.  (Therapist humor I guess.)  But I got to thinking about being emotionally and spiritually constipated with my relationship with Christ.

     There have been seasons in my life where I have be so distant from God, and He is just pouring blessings on me, and I wonder if He thinks, "I've had it with you and your emotional and spiritual constipation.  Stop sitting on the sidelines and be in a relationship with me.  I have called you to be on my team and you aren't even putting on your team jersey."

     I've been this way with church too.  Do I want to commit to something like teaching a small group class?  (Emotional and Spiritual Constipation)  I'm not crazy about the song selection so therefore I'm not looking forward to worship.  (Emotional and Spiritual Constipation)  I don't really want to get up and get dressed to go to church.  (Emotional and Spiritual Constipation).  God, why should I spend time with you when you've let me down so many times?  (Emotional and Spiritual Constipation)

     Thankfully as I grow with God, I mature in God.  I see that being emotionally and spiritually constipated can be selfish, a stumbling block for others, and draining.  It's more work sometimes to strip away any emotion and be a shell.

     Like Terk needed Tantor to wake up and see he's not being a good friend, sometimes we need to be woken up by God.  I know I do.  I know that I need God to shake me and say, "I need you to step up and pull your weight as a Christian.  You got that?"  Does your emotional and spiritual constipation come from a lack of trusting God?

      Scripture says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."  Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)   SEEK God when you are starting to become emotionally and spiritually constipated.  Spend time with Him and hear his reasonings for your troubles.  You will feel lighter and even happier when you do. 

Laying Down Your Stone

      For many years I have struggled with a specific relationship in my life.  Stones have been casted (figuratively) back and forth towards each other in forms of words, denial of relationships, lies, and so on.  I'll be honest, I have had my fair share of casting stones towards this other person.  Lately though I have been trying hard to not retaliate through my hurt emotions.

      I'm not sure if you have ever been in a relationship or a situation where you have done nothing but cast stones back and forth.  It can be daunting, exhausting, hurtful, and down right painful. Even  more the labor of having to continue on throwing another slur remark can bring out the worst in you.  

       Have you ever been on the receiving end of stones being casted? Either through being bullied, chastised, or ostracized?  The shear agony of standing in one place, or even moving, and having nothing by stones cast at you.  You end up beaten, bruised, and broken.  

      I'm not sure how long ago my Pastor passed out rocks at the beginning of service.  The rocks were the landscaping river rocks, smooth to the touch.  His sermon was on laying down your stones.  The metaphor was to illustrate us letting go of the hurt, the pain, and surrendering the fight.  My Pastor shared how we need to lay it on the alter and give it to God.  

       Stone in hand, I walked down to the alter and laid my stone down.  I realized that I had been in a battle, not with my spiritual armor on, but with my own personal armor.  I was casting stones and judgment when I should have been surrendering the relationship over to God.  Prayerfully I asked God to take away my hurt, my brokenness, my bitterness, and my stones.  

       Well....there are days that I (figuratively) pick up my stone and place it in my pocket.  I want that stone close by for when I want to step out on the battlefield by myself.  Keeping the stone is a selfish reason, no doubt.  It was months before I realized that I had picked my stone back up and started to carry it around.  

     Carrying this stone around only reminds me that I am not trusting God enough with this relationship to turn over the rock.  I am saying to God, "God, I know you can heal the brokenness in relationships, but I still want it done my way" or "Lord, I trust you with my life, but not with the particular relationship".  I will say this, I am making improvements with my reactions to this persons actions.  I am seeking out wisdom from others before I even think to pick up my stone.

        This is a work in progress.  I am working on strengthening my relationship with God first and foremost.  My reaction needs to be that of prayer.  I need to seek God's will first before my own.  There needs to be a level of obedience in my faith with God as well and follow His will.

        Dear Lord, my prayer is that I surrender my stones to you.  You died on the cross not just for me (a sinner) but for everyone.  Help me to remember in those moments that I pick up the stone, that I am hurting You as well.  Guide me through the process of healing from the brokenness.  Amen. 

My Role...as a Parent

     Have you ever thought about what your role is as a parent?  Kisser of boo-boos, entertainer, carpenter to broken toys, seamstress to lost buttons, an open ear, counselor, nose wiper, personal chauffeur, sports equipment manager, diaper changer....  The list that never seems to end, right?  It's kind of exhausting looking at the list of roles mentioned.  Sometimes as parents is seems like we are on auto drive as well.

       On Mother's Day this year Jason and I stood before the church and accepted a very daunting challenge in parenthood.  We pledged to raise our son (we've already dedicated our daughter) in Christ and to teach him to love Him.  We pledged to show him grace as God has shown us grace.  But before the challenge was given to us as the parents, it was given to our son's extended family and the church.  

       I firmly believe that one of the most important roles for a parent is one that needs to be met with dedication, commitment, and grace.  It's a role that doesn't end when your child progresses to a different stage in life.  As a matter of fact, this particular role is one that will adapt to the stage your child is in.  It's a role that is life altering to not only you but to your child.  This role will last formal of eternity.   

      It's not a role that can be summed in one word.  This role looks like several different things either at different times or all at once.  Some might classify this role as a teacher, mentor, counsel, or story teller.  But in reality it is all of those things and many more.  As a parent, I am to raise my son and daughter in a Christian environment and be intentional about cultivating their faith.

     With the way the world is going I wonder if we, as Christians, are missing the mark at times.  I can say that my attitude and behavior towards my daughter does not cultivate patience, grace, or love.  I have lost my temper with my daughter, been impatient with my son, and definitely neglected to show grace many times. 

      I can honestly say that there are times that I've wanted to sleep in on Sunday because I've had a long night with little sleep.  I've dreaded the summer VBS week because I know how exhausted I'll be...not even thinking about the foundation that would be laid for my daughter in her spiritual growth.  There are times I've been so beaten down spiritually or frustrated that I didn't even want to go to worship.

      However, there is always that one small quiet voice that reminds me of my charge and pledge as a parent.  There are the car rides when my daughter ask to listen to her music (Sunday School CD) or she starts to sing a song that's playing on the radio.  I think about the moment I asked my daughter this weekend what her favorite part of the weekend was and she'll say, "God".  There are daily reminders of the importance of having my child in church every time the doors are opened because she is absorbing God's love.  

      There's the saying, "If you don't teach your children to love God, the world will teach them not to."  How intentional are you being in your child's spiritual foundation?  Can you step up and volunteer and be an example of love to other's in church?  It truly does take a village to raise a child, and I for one am choosing the church as my village.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  

Parenting Patiently

     When was the last time you lost patience with your child?  This week?  Today?  5 minutes ago?  Well as a parent of a toddler (going on teenager) and a newborn, losing my patience is something that is a regular occurrence.  It's something that I am not proud off. 

     The other night I was putting my toddler to bed.  If any of you have experienced the "why" stage of toddler-hood (yes I am deeming that a stage) you will understand the difficulty of bedtime. I'm not lying...this was the conversation:

     Toddler: Hey Momma.

     Mom: Yes

     Toddler: Hey momma, why do tigers roar?

     Mom: That's how they talk to each other.

     Toddler: Oh. Hey Momma.

     Mom: Yes

     Toddler: Why do we say "Now I lay me" at home and "God is great" at daycare?

     Mom: Because we say "God is great" at meal time and "Now I lay me down" at bedtime.

     Toddler: Why are we not allowed to throw balls in the house?

     Mom: Because you might break something.

     Toddler: And granny and pepaw be mad?

     Mom:  Yes

     Toddler:  Who else?

     Mom: Granna and Pep-paw

     Toddler: Who else?

     Mom: Grandma and Grandaddy

     Toddler: Who else?

     Mom: Momma and Daddy

     Toddler: Who else?

     Mom: Think about it (as I am leaving her room).

     But before this conversation happened a few nights before I started losing my patience during her bedtime.  The questions become ridiculous and causing her to not become tired.  I laid my head on her bed and started to pray to God.  It dawned on me that God must have a lot of patience for me as an adult who should know better.  How many times have I faltered and God is still there?  How many times have I questioned Him and He is still there?  

     In the middle of praying my daughter was talking and I told her to be quiet because I was praying to God.  (Once again how many times have I prayed to God and did all of the talking and He has told me to just hush up?)  My daughter said, "I don't know how to do that."  "You don't know how to do what?" was my response.  "I don't know how to talk to God." she said.  Talk about a humbling moment.  I began to tell her that when she says her blessing and her night night prayers she is talking to God.

     Humbled by a two and half year old.  Humbled by a nearly three month old when I see him smile at me and coo.  Lately I've been changing my perspective from easily frustrated (ok...lets be honest...I'm working on it) to that of a more patient parent.  

   "Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. Proverbs 14:29.  Are you parenting patiently?  Are you seeking God to gain understanding?  My prayer is that all parents learn to have patience (in all stages of parenting).