Laying Down Your Stone

      For many years I have struggled with a specific relationship in my life.  Stones have been casted (figuratively) back and forth towards each other in forms of words, denial of relationships, lies, and so on.  I'll be honest, I have had my fair share of casting stones towards this other person.  Lately though I have been trying hard to not retaliate through my hurt emotions.

      I'm not sure if you have ever been in a relationship or a situation where you have done nothing but cast stones back and forth.  It can be daunting, exhausting, hurtful, and down right painful. Even  more the labor of having to continue on throwing another slur remark can bring out the worst in you.  

       Have you ever been on the receiving end of stones being casted? Either through being bullied, chastised, or ostracized?  The shear agony of standing in one place, or even moving, and having nothing by stones cast at you.  You end up beaten, bruised, and broken.  

      I'm not sure how long ago my Pastor passed out rocks at the beginning of service.  The rocks were the landscaping river rocks, smooth to the touch.  His sermon was on laying down your stones.  The metaphor was to illustrate us letting go of the hurt, the pain, and surrendering the fight.  My Pastor shared how we need to lay it on the alter and give it to God.  

       Stone in hand, I walked down to the alter and laid my stone down.  I realized that I had been in a battle, not with my spiritual armor on, but with my own personal armor.  I was casting stones and judgment when I should have been surrendering the relationship over to God.  Prayerfully I asked God to take away my hurt, my brokenness, my bitterness, and my stones.  

       Well....there are days that I (figuratively) pick up my stone and place it in my pocket.  I want that stone close by for when I want to step out on the battlefield by myself.  Keeping the stone is a selfish reason, no doubt.  It was months before I realized that I had picked my stone back up and started to carry it around.  

     Carrying this stone around only reminds me that I am not trusting God enough with this relationship to turn over the rock.  I am saying to God, "God, I know you can heal the brokenness in relationships, but I still want it done my way" or "Lord, I trust you with my life, but not with the particular relationship".  I will say this, I am making improvements with my reactions to this persons actions.  I am seeking out wisdom from others before I even think to pick up my stone.

        This is a work in progress.  I am working on strengthening my relationship with God first and foremost.  My reaction needs to be that of prayer.  I need to seek God's will first before my own.  There needs to be a level of obedience in my faith with God as well and follow His will.

        Dear Lord, my prayer is that I surrender my stones to you.  You died on the cross not just for me (a sinner) but for everyone.  Help me to remember in those moments that I pick up the stone, that I am hurting You as well.  Guide me through the process of healing from the brokenness.  Amen. 

My Role...as a Parent

     Have you ever thought about what your role is as a parent?  Kisser of boo-boos, entertainer, carpenter to broken toys, seamstress to lost buttons, an open ear, counselor, nose wiper, personal chauffeur, sports equipment manager, diaper changer....  The list that never seems to end, right?  It's kind of exhausting looking at the list of roles mentioned.  Sometimes as parents is seems like we are on auto drive as well.

       On Mother's Day this year Jason and I stood before the church and accepted a very daunting challenge in parenthood.  We pledged to raise our son (we've already dedicated our daughter) in Christ and to teach him to love Him.  We pledged to show him grace as God has shown us grace.  But before the challenge was given to us as the parents, it was given to our son's extended family and the church.  

       I firmly believe that one of the most important roles for a parent is one that needs to be met with dedication, commitment, and grace.  It's a role that doesn't end when your child progresses to a different stage in life.  As a matter of fact, this particular role is one that will adapt to the stage your child is in.  It's a role that is life altering to not only you but to your child.  This role will last formal of eternity.   

      It's not a role that can be summed in one word.  This role looks like several different things either at different times or all at once.  Some might classify this role as a teacher, mentor, counsel, or story teller.  But in reality it is all of those things and many more.  As a parent, I am to raise my son and daughter in a Christian environment and be intentional about cultivating their faith.

     With the way the world is going I wonder if we, as Christians, are missing the mark at times.  I can say that my attitude and behavior towards my daughter does not cultivate patience, grace, or love.  I have lost my temper with my daughter, been impatient with my son, and definitely neglected to show grace many times. 

      I can honestly say that there are times that I've wanted to sleep in on Sunday because I've had a long night with little sleep.  I've dreaded the summer VBS week because I know how exhausted I'll be...not even thinking about the foundation that would be laid for my daughter in her spiritual growth.  There are times I've been so beaten down spiritually or frustrated that I didn't even want to go to worship.

      However, there is always that one small quiet voice that reminds me of my charge and pledge as a parent.  There are the car rides when my daughter ask to listen to her music (Sunday School CD) or she starts to sing a song that's playing on the radio.  I think about the moment I asked my daughter this weekend what her favorite part of the weekend was and she'll say, "God".  There are daily reminders of the importance of having my child in church every time the doors are opened because she is absorbing God's love.  

      There's the saying, "If you don't teach your children to love God, the world will teach them not to."  How intentional are you being in your child's spiritual foundation?  Can you step up and volunteer and be an example of love to other's in church?  It truly does take a village to raise a child, and I for one am choosing the church as my village.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."