Parenting is a Reflection of Your Heart

     I remember growing up my momma always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all," "Actions speak louder than words," or she would recite the Golden Rule.  At one point or another (ok, let me be honest, probably about every time) I probably rolled my eyes when she quoted these wise words to me.  I didn't understand it then, but my mom was starting to prepare my heart for Christ and for the world. 

    When your heart is right with God, parenting doesn't seem so challenging as a whole.  Notice I didn't say that every day would be easy.  However, it does help us grow, smooth out our rough edges, and breathe a little easier.  

     So how do you know you have a heart that is right for God?  Here is what I have learned from my own personal growth with Christ and experience....

1. TRUST - When life hands you lemons, you trust that God is going to use them in your life.  You don't go and make lemonade on your own cause when you do, you take away your trust in God.  Instead, you sit back, breathe, and listen to God. 
2. RESPECT - "How you treat one another in the home influences how our children will someday treat their roommates, their coworkers, their future spouses, and their own children" (Be the Mom, Tracey Eyster).  Let's take this a step farther, how you treat anyone in general shows a reflection of your heart.    Proverbs 14:1 tells us, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands [and mouth] the foolish one tears hers down."
3. MINDFUL - As we mature, we become more mindful in our thinking.  I went to a seminar about DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) to help clients learn about mindfulness.  The history of DBT and the underlying concepts of the theory help me as a mom today.  We need to have a equal grasp of reality and emotions.  If we let our emotions dictate how we parent, we are not going to parent effectively. 
4. GRATITIDUE - Tracey Eyster has written a book called, "Be the Mom"...and let me tell you she has a way with words.  Here is what she says about gratitude, "Having a heart of gratitude is essential in the life of mom, and practicing gratitude transforms our hearts from being self-focused to being God-focused.  That focus is a wonderful attribute to pass along to our children; grateful children are contented no matter their circumstances."  I don't think I could have said any of that any better. 

    There are plenty more attributes we could add to this list but reality is that one of them would fit underneath one of the ones already listed.  How we interact with each other in the home is a reflection of our hearts.  How we interact with others in various settings (social, church, restaurant, etc) is a reflection of your heart.  Are you happy with what your heart is reflecting?  Does it mirror Christ?  Are there areas you need to work on?   I know that there are several I need to do better with!

Don't Rob Yourself!

     This morning while taking my kiddos to my moms house for the day an interesting conversation developed between my daughter and I.   As we were driving along I noticed a distinct smell that generally happens around a specific animals mating season.  You know that very pungent smell of skunk.  Well my daughter (mind you is 3 1/2) is learning what skunks do, they spray.  Here's how our conversation went....

Me - Shew, I smell stinky skunk.
C - Yuck, that's pee-yew.  Mom, that stunk sprayed and it stinks.
Me - They are called "skunks".
C - Well they sprayed the grass.  I know a lot about grass.
Me - You do?
C - Yeah I do.  God needs to worry about himself.
Me - Well C God loves everyone and worries about everyone.

     Later on as at the day went I by I started the think about what she said.  (A little side note: C has been tattling a lot lately and I told her that she needs to worry about herself.  We've been trying to tell her that she needs to mind her own behaviors before pointing out others.)  Are we as parents really letting God worry about our problems or are we taking away His grace and mercy by worrying about them ourselves?

     You see, when we don't give God our worries, our concerns, our _______ (you fill in the blank), we are robbing ourselves of His blessings.  When we aren't on our knees seeking Him, we miss receiving his grace and mercy.  When we don't cast our burdens on God, we carry the weight of all of our worries, our sins on our shoulders. 

     Parenthood is burdensome enough without having to add extra weight.  Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."   Did you catch that last part?  "He will never permit the righteous to be moved."  God doesn't want you to fall, stumble, or be hindered...He wants you to cast your burdens on him.  

     Even thought my daughter is quickly catching on about not being concerned about what her friends are doing or not doing, she missed the mark a little in regards to who God should worry about.  Why not make the effort today to let God carry your burden, for his "yoke is easy"

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Walking Spiritually in Parenthood

     This morning our Pastor talked about not forgetting what scripture says.  He shared that at times we have momentarily, and sometimes longtime, forgetfulness in our spiritual life.  We can begin to neglect our relationship with God.  At one point in his sermon he shared that God is going to be speaking a hundred different sermons today, depending on what we, as individuals, need to hear.  This is what God spoke to me....

     Pastor Wayne said today that, "Failing to remember God is the beginning of the deterioration of your spiritual life."  To add effect and help us hear this statement he said it twice.  So let me reiterate, "Failing to remember God is the beginning of the deterioration of your spiritual life."  

   Parenting is a trickle down effect.  What you do ultimately effects your children, your grandchildren, etc.  So when you fail to take your children to church it begins to weaken your own spiritual walk as well as your child's spiritual walk.  "Forgetting God leads to worshipping other things" - Bro. Wayne.  What are you and your children possibly worshipping (sports, televisions, social events, social status, etc)?  What takes up most of your time?

     

     Remembering that God is the giver of life should in effect lend us to remember that He has ownership of our life.  When we accept that the ownership of what we have and who we are belongs to God, we can start worshipping God without barriers.  When we can worship God without barriers we can begin to deepen our spiritual life with Him. 

     Putting God in the forefront of all life's circumstances, obstacles, events, and routines honors and worships Him.  Your children begin to reflect your heart and your behaviors as they grow, so what do you want them to reflect?  Deuteronomy 8:19b says, "If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods, worshipping and bowing down to them, you will certainly be destroyed."  In your own spiritual life as a parent, don't forget to worship God.  Remember, parenting with the purpose to honor God pleases Him.  

Parenting and Friendships

     Lately I've been having this lingering conversation in my head.  One that I've been wrestling with Satan about.  One that emotionally hurts to the point that it can leave scars.  At moments I have come to grips with this conversation, other times it eats away at me.  

     What does it mean to be a Christian friend and to teach that to your children?  Right now my children are young, my oldest is learning what it means to be a friend right now.  But as a parent, how do you surround yourself with true, honest, God-fearing, and humbling friends?  And in the process, how do you accept when others don't want to be close to you?  

       Scripture says that we need to, "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble" (Proverbs 13:20).   Later it say, "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands" (Proverbs 14:1).  These two verses have really been sticking out at me.

     Here is what I believe God is telling me to do:

1. Be Friendly - If someone chooses to not be close to me, then I need to accept that.  BUT I still need to be friendly to that person.   I still have an opportunity to show grace, love, and mercy to everyone, even if I am not close to them. 
2. Walk wisely - That might not sound right or you are thinking, "huh?".  Here is what I mean, we need to be conscious of who we are walking with.  If I am seeking closeness with someone who does not want to be as close to me, then I need to rethink walking closely with this person.  (Now I will revert to concept #1 above.)  God wants me to walk with wise individuals and use my discernment to make that choice...however sometimes God knows we will wrestle with this and helps us.  
3. Reflect carefully -Who you choose as your friends and the choices they make reflect on your judgment of Christian character.  Be mindful of who you are associating with because their actions can influence what others think of your Christian walk.  If I am associating with someone who participates in activities my personal faith does not agree with, that says a lot to other people.
4. Construction soundly - Your friendships, whether you agree or not, affect your home life.  This in turns effects your parenting.  If you are easily influenced by the world then consider the how close you want your "worldly" and "godly" friends.  I want friends who will lift me up spiritually when I need it, challenge me in my thinking, hold me accountable, and provide sound Christian advice.  

     Scripture is beautiful in the fact that it can be interpreted differently.  The concepts I listed above are HARD.  I'm not going to sugar coat it.  But in a world that is drawing us to be more like it then just in it...we have to heed to what God says.  We must be diligent in who we surround ourselves with.  The world is fighting hard for our homes and friendships, we need to stand underneath the cross in ALL aspects of our lives.

     Hope this brings some comfort to someone.  God is with us.  God guides us.  We need to be wise in how we walk in the world.  Let us pray for our friends, love on them, support them, and guide them.